In My Mid Twenties I Went Into Business

In my mid twenties I went into business with a relative of mine and found myself in the position of a director of a multi-media company.

However, as the years passed I discovered that the direction my relative was taking the company (who happened to be 6 years older than me) was a direction that I could no longer support.

So I resigned.

The problem I then faced though stemmed from the fact that I had allowed my identity to become intimately and inextricably entwined with that business. It was who I was, and I had poured so much of my heart, my soul, my finances, my all into its creation – that when the business was removed from my life I suddenly lost my personal identity.

I Became Violent

I became depressed, angry and even (I am ashamed to write) violent. Not against those whom I felt had betrayed both my family and I – but I actually became violent against the very ones I loved – my wife and my young children.

I was so frustrated with my circumstances that I became an eruptive volcano that could explode unpredictably at any moment.

I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t know what to do, who to go to, and how to re-forge a new identity.

When people asked me what I did I couldn’t give an answer, and it just made me angrier.

My life had been derailed, detoured, and at that point I was convinced that it had been utterly destroyed.

At the height of my anger I found myself raging around my house while my wife and three young children (they are now young adults) took refuge in our bedroom – all huddled together on our bed.

My Wake Up Call

When I entered the room, there were the four people whom I deeply loved hugging each other for protection, their eyes filled with fear.

I stopped in my tracks.

I immediately left the scene, stormed outside and gave myself a stern talking to – ‘Peter, if you keep going the way you’re going, you’re going to lose everything – even those who love you so deeply’.

I then returned to my family transformed – sought their forgiveness, and peace finally reigned within our household.

Never again have I attached my self-worth or my identity to what I do – and the things (or people rather) whom I am most proud of are my beautiful wife of more than 28 years and my three children.

Business, fame, wealth come and go, but family is forever.

You & I Are Defined By Who We Are – Not What We Do

So whenever I meet someone for the very first time I never ask the question, ‘So what do you do?’

I ask this: ‘So how do you keep yourself busy each week?’

Personally, I am not impressed or unimpressed by what people do or even by what people make. I would rather get to know who you are – for it is who you are that I wish to inspire to be the best you possible.

You are a worthy human being – no matter what season you find yourself in.

Whether you have a job, are between careers, own a business or are owned by a business, are a bankrupt, or find yourself in a place where you are still trying to work out what you’re going to do when you grow up – remember this one thing: what you do makes no difference.

It’s who you are, and also know this – that you are loved, respected, worthy and talented.  You are brilliant, one-of-a-kind, magnificent, and bursting with potential.

Your best days are before you because you are unique, and you are YOU.

So let me ask you one question though: how have you overcome your own personal identity crisis?

Motivational Memo: Be proud of who you are, for you are not defined by what you do.

Peter G. James Sinclair is the author of the Personal Success Blueprint, a free report you can download instantly to learn how you can unlock the secret to your own personal success. You can access the report from here – http://www.selfdevelopmentmastermind.com

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